Carol Newland and Sue Walsh. WorkLife Architect

Sometimes I look at the subject for our evenings together in Eastleigh and say to myself “Probably not much for me to learn here!”. “I reckon I’ve got a good balance in my life, and I’ve done a lot of ‘personal development’ training.” However something about the WorkLife Architect programme suggested to me that Carol and Sue were being quite innovative in their approach, and this year’s theme is innovation!
WELL this was a really good session, with lots to learn, lots to play with, and two engaging and committed speakers. (‘scuse me while I just pop out and get some birch twigs to beat myself with). Every session at NLP-South has something to offer, if only we give it the chance! (That means turning up!)
We started with a story. (We do love stories!) The evening was peppered with little stories. Well told and thought provoking. Carol then set a frame for us based on our assessment of how much life we had left to live. (On average for the group). Of this time left to us, marked spatially on the floor, we will spend one third asleep! Of the remaining two thirds we will spend another third (anyone good at fractions?) eating, drinking, visiting the loo and other mundane and necessary tasks. This leaves us two thirds of the remaining two thirds when we are actually awake (or appear to be so) when we have some choice over what we do. This equated to about three steps on the floor out of the twelve or so that Carol marked out as our average life span. Clearly the way to do more is either to sleep a lot less or maybe live longer. Or just maybe, be really clear about what is important in your life, and only do that. As Sue explained we are all like tuning forks, vibrating at our own frequency and drawn to the same vibration in the world. Check out your vibrational level, do you need re-tuning to a better frequency? Are you attracting the ‘wrong’ things into your life? Not sure? Maybe you need the WorkLife Architect programme!
(Coincidentally, if you believe in coincidences, I was sent a little story about the important things in life. It appears at the end of this report).
Sue and Carol outlined their four step model for WorkLife Architect and through the evening told us some of the NLP techniques they use that are ‘well known’ and shared with us some new twists they use in their 9 month programme. (I’m sure there’s some link here between the 9 months and the full gestation of their trainees!!). Not only did we get to play with these ‘new’ twists, we also had a chance to be innovative in our own right, more of this later.
The four steps are:-
1). Know what you don’t want.
2). Know what you do want.
3). Know what it feels like to have it.
4).Know it will happen.
STEP ONE.
In our ‘negative’ culture (all our laws forbid us to do something) it is easy to spend all our time moaning about the ‘stuff’ which keeps turning up despite us continually saying how much we ‘don’t want’ it! The great temptation as NLPers is to positively reframe at the first hint of negativity. This can cause us to miss the real nugget of information in the ‘don’t want’. How do we tell if we ‘don’t want’ something? We need to check ourselves for ‘congruence’ and ‘incongruity’.
In the WorkLife Architect programme ‘don’t wants’ are the key starting point and are subdivided for further clarity into ‘simple’ ‘don’t wants’; ‘past’ ‘don’t wants’; ‘future’ ‘don’t wants’; and ‘hidden’ ‘don’t wants’. This was where we got a chance to play. Sue and Carol had provided us with work sheets and examples of the four kinds of ‘‘don’t wants’’. In pairs, we took each other through the lists and noticed and recorded the ‘impact’ of the ‘don’t wants’ on ourselves and others around us.
In the wash up after this exercise we all agreed that ‘don’t wants’ can be quite sneaky. Sometimes we phrase a ‘don’t wants’ in a positive way and it goes by unnoticed. For example I used to say, “I can see myself being really useful and powerful when I’m 95.” Have you spotted the hidden negative in there? I now say, “I can see myself STILL being really useful and powerful when I’m 95!” This now gives me permission to be really useful and powerful just as soon as I like. Any day now, when I’ve finished the next thing I need to do which will make all the difference! (I ‘don’t want’ any more of this Bl**dy British reserve and avoidance of excellence!!)
STEP TWO.
So having fully examined the things we ‘don’t want’, time for a more positive approach. Many of us found dwelling in ‘Dontwantsville’ uncomfortable. The next step is to fully embrace the things we do want. Here again there may be ‘hidden’ agendas that limit our potential. “We don’t do that in our family.” The standard technique used here is ‘well formed outcomes’. Our next ‘game’ was going beyond and “Daring to dream”. Back in our pairs we asked each other questions about our dreams, by removing all obstacles that may cause us to limit our horizon. We all found that there wasn’t enough time for this! Whereas the same time had been too much for ‘don’t wants’!
STEP THREE.
So how do we know what it will feel like to actually have what we really want? What we dream about and really desire? In NLP we might play with “association” and “disassociation”. In addition WorkLife Architect use “Scripting” and “The red flag” game. Back in our pairs we took turns to take a “Big Grin” want and tell our friend all about it as though we were there in the present, experiencing it, seeing, hearing, feeling, etc. The observer had a red flag. Their job was to wave the flag anytime they spotted a negative, a change of tense to the future, a belief that it couldn’t happen, an incongruence in the ‘scripter’ and even a lack of enough ‘grin’ factor.
STEP FOUR.
Believe your goal is going to happen and operate from a place where this is a certainty. This will lead to inspired action and deliver the goal. This is not quite the same as ‘acting if’ because the goal has not yet been achieved. Working from this place of certainty its only a question of when not if. The NLP technique used is ‘Intention setting’. That is instead of saying I’d like to achieve X, you say I intend to achieve X.! In addition Sue and Carol use ‘chair choices’ to help their trainees move to a place of achievement. Sue demonstrated this for us. No time to play with this one as Sue and Carol had a challenge for the group to be ‘innovative’ and design some new techniques for one of the four steps. We broke into groups of three, working with different people from earlier. Here briefly, is what we came up with:- Innovation at NLP-South.
For Step One.
(A direct steal, sorry sharing, of last month’s session with Pamela Gawler-Wright). Ask the ‘client’ to pick an area of their life with a ‘don’t want’’. Get them to continually state it and noticing their fizziology. Get them to exaggerate a gesture or movement associated with their ‘don’t want’. Once they have this ask them to notice the feelings they get with this gesture. Ask them to find another ‘don’t want’ from another area of their life. As they state it mirror back to them, the gesture from the first ‘don’t want’.
Objective to provide an anchor gesture that goes with their ‘don’t wants’ that they will start to notice for themselves. Thus enabling them to spot their hidden and sneakier ‘don’t wants’ by noticing when they make this gesture and feel those feelings.
Also for Step One.
Utilising the Disney Strategy. Critic, dreamer, realist. Questioning the ‘don’t wants’.
A synthesis of Step one and two.
Using spatial anchoring create a ‘Do want’ space. Check the sub modalities and ramp up to maximum. Move to a neutral space and look at the ‘Do want’ space. Find another space for ‘don’t wants’. When in this space ask about the person who is in this space.
For Step three.
Create the ‘intention’ just in front of you. Step into it. Anchor the intention with a symbol or a gesture. Transfer the symbol into a mandala and every time you look at the mandala drink a toast to that person.
My notes on these were brief and if I have missed a key point or misrepresented the work of the group please let me know and I’ll correct this report. However in less than 15 minutes working with small groups I think we did really well!
Thank you Sue and Carol for a well thought out evening. You gave us a clear insight to the power of your WorkLife Architect Programme and also tailored it to meet the brief of involvement and practice. You both displayed tremendous congruence in what you are about, and we all had a lot of FUN!!
To find out more about WorkLife Architect visit www.worklifearchitect.co.uk there are some ‘taster’ days coming up plus potentially a chance to do this programme in Tobago.

And here is the story I promised you earlier, are you sitting comfortably? Then I’ll begin...

Once upon a time... A kindly professor stood before his new intake philosophy class. When the class had settled down he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls.
He then asked the students if the jar was full.
They agreed that it was.
The professor picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls He then asked the students again if the jar was full.
They laughed and agreed it was now full.
The professor picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar.
The sand filled up the spaces between the pebbles and the golf balls. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous "yes."
The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed some more.
"Now," said the professor, as the laughter subsided, "I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life.
The golf balls are the important things. Your family, your children, your faith, your health, your friends, and your favourite passions.
Things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.
The pebbles are the other things that matter. Your job, your house, and your car.

The sand is everything else. The small stuff.
"If you put sand into the jar first, there will be no room for the pebbles or the golf balls.
The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you.
Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness.
Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups.
Take your partner out to dinner. Play another 18 holes. There will always be time to clean the house and take out the rubbish.
Take care of the golf balls first, the things that really matter.
Set your priorities. The rest is just sand."

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented.
The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend."

So...
When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar... and the coffee...
Don’t let the ‘sands’ of time run through your fingers... stop to pick up and admire any pebbles you meet... enjoy a ‘coffee break’ with friends and most importantly of all... keep a close eye on your balls!

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