(Is this a good moment for the organiser to tear out the rest of his hair and wonder why he bothers to get quality speakers to travel all the way to Eastleigh?) No it isn’t. Fortunately we began to remember where we were and why we had turned up and our expectations of ‘learning’ something new and useful, of practicing our skills (they remembered its a practice group!), meeting our NLP friends, perhaps buying a book on NLP in business (did I mention Peter had brought some of his books?)
In asking this question Peter then took us back through our day and asked us to think about how we had arrived, by car maybe? Straight from work or via home? To think about the warm welcome we received at the door. The opportunity to talk to others before the session began. More of this later...

‘Peter asked us, rhetorically, ‘what is happening to NLP in the real world?’ It no longer seems enough for people to say they practice or use NLP. In a world of ‘niche marketing’ and ‘tailored services’, everyone is looking for their edge to promote what they’re doing and how they’re using NLP to solve a particular problem. Is this the whole story of NLP then? – a set of techniques that help you do other things better? With a bit of positive re-framing Peter reminded us that NLP at its best is a state of open curiosity about the way things work, with the skill to observe acutely so we notice excellence when we see it and the ability to model it.

 Confused? – then think about how you avoid the eyes of the market researcher in the street, so you don’t get stopped and questioned. In business situations we avoid rapport with someone we think wants to sell us something, or get us to agree to something new. Pace, pace and then lead your partner is the traditional way to build rapport in typically difficult situations. If you’re working with groups, pacing all the individuals could leave you looking like a bizarre circus act – so ‘back track pacing’ can help. Not another piece of NLP jargon, I hear you say and right on cue, Peter demonstrated the way to use simple, recent past events to build a shared experience, ‘You all decided you wanted to be here for this session tonight?’(Pace) And you all travelled to get here? (Pace) And I guess you either came straight from work or from home’ (Pace) And you will all learn something useful about NLP in business. (Lead) and did I tell you about my book? (Now if you had been paying attention you will have noticed how this mirrors what Peter was doing at the start. Oh Yes!! Clever ain’t he?)
To make sure we got this in the muscle we embarked on our first exercise.  Working in pairs we took it in turns to ‘tell’ our partner how good the evening was going to be and the potential learnings and new books that could be acquired. Then we backtracked and took them through their day with questions and seamlessly on to the evening and how good etc!
We reconvened and discussed what had been different in the two approaches. I was lucky enough to be working with an excellent NLPer so made some good learnings here as she showed me how to ask the questions and backtrack without mind reading! It definitely feels more inclusive to ‘share’ the immediate past before going together into a joint future. In visual terms this is like linking snapshots through time.
If you meet resistance in a group (not ours of course) you can flow with the resistance and then backtrack to a time when there was no resistance and then move forward again.
In meetings when moving towards a ‘desired state’ it is good to backtrack a bit to agree how you’ve arrived at the ‘present state’ so that as you move forwards it becomes easy to keep moving towards the ‘desired state’. This makes it easier to agree on ‘Action Plans’.
Peter reminded us of a useful tense change with the word feel.
“I can appreciate how you feel, some of my customers who felt that way found that this product met their needs exactly.” (Even more powerful if you combine this with the ‘anchoring’ Marc Hogan showed us in November 2006.

We must have taken a break around here somewhere, though my notes don’t mention it. I know some people took advantage of Peter’s special offer of half price books, (did I mention his books?). This offer is still available if you didn’t have enough funds on the night or had some other engagement that strangely was more important, meaning you were not even there! Go to Peter’s website and mention NLP-South. www.ciauk.com to play some games to help you think more clearly or www.changemagic.com where you can meet the “Brain Fairies” and play with the world famous “Unsticker”.

Using a black marker pen Peter asked us to shout out some of the things that really irritated and annoyed us. The topics ranged from the government through aggressive driving to automated answer machines to computers to many other things! We had no trouble filling the page. Peter asked us about the specifics of these items and what we particularly disliked. (I would put more detail here but the ‘swish’ worked so well I can’t recall much of what was on the flip!) Peter stoked up our dislike until he got us just short of a full rant, then he tore the sheet off the flip chart, screwed it up and threw it over our heads into the room. With but the merest pause he then changed pen and asked us what we would really like. This was actually very easy and we would like to be able to speak to a person, for customers to get service, for computers to automatically fix themselves and in one lady’s case for at least one but possibly up to three tall dark handsome men!
The plan was for us to split into pairs and ‘swish’ each other, except that Peter had teased us with the Ikea sales pattern. So we stayed sat and listened some more.
The average person’s buying strategy goes something like this:- Gather information - make a decision - buy - become the owner.
As you enter the Ikea showroom you find yourself moving through some carefully staged room settings. Pause awhile and sit on the sofa looking around  at the widescreen TV and stereo system, the clever wall units and the fabric on the chairs, the rugs and lighting, admiring the pictures and noticing how well the little accessories complement the whole scheme. In your mind you are comparing this with how good it will all look in your own home. So you have begun by ‘owning’ these items. The next area is where you find the sales desk and you ‘buy’ the goods you already own in your mind. Forgetting you brought the 2 seater soft top today you move on to collect your items from the warehouse, where they have full instructions and will relieve you of your cash. At this point their system fails them slightly because you have to join a queue, and as you look around in a daze at the other people’s trolleys loaded with stuff you come out of the trance and notice just how much you have on your trolley! You remember the size of your car and wonder whether you really need three stuffed elephants in your lounge. Now is the moment to make the ‘decision’ to take it all home or leave it behind.

Peter, who clearly shops often at Ikea, told us he has seen young couples suddenly start to life, leave the queue and begin putting items back on shelves. Have you enjoyed an Ikea experience like this? Do let us know!
We certainly enjoyed the ‘experience’ of Peter Freeth. Thank you Peter for traveling down and giving us your time, energy and humour. This session gave us a beginning in understanding just a few ways to bring NLP into the real world and the world of business.
I am in negotiation with Peter to come down for a day’s ‘training’ at Jinglewood later in the year. It will be a very interactive day for up to 10 people, and will include a super lunch and lots of practical learning in an intimate and relaxing setting. If this interests you drop me an email and I’ll let you know as soon as I have details sorted.
In case you missed the links above to contact Peter and find out more about his NLP in Business, his outward bound coaching events and the ‘world famous unsticker’ go to  www.ciauk.com and remember to use nlpsouth as your discount code, when ordering his books!