Pun and Games. Forwarded by Anne.

A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother

A pessimists blood type is B-Negative

A hangover is the Wrath of Grapes

A succesful diet is the triumph of mind over platter

A gossip is someone with a good sense of rumour

A chicken crossing the road is Poultry in Motion

A boiled egg is hard to beat

A plateau is a high form of flattery

Doing the Lambada is a type of Floor-play

Courduroy pillows are making Head-lines

Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death

Marriage is the Mourning after the Knot before

Acupuncture: A Jab well done

If you jump off a bridge in Paris,you're in Seine

A book about voyeurism is a Peeping Tome

Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?

A will is a Dead Giveaway

Ship captains don't like crew cuts

Energizer Bunny arrested,charged with Battery

Dijon Vu: Haven't I had this Mustard before?

Australian Local Area Network: The LAN down under

Failure to promptly pay the Exorcist will result in RePossession

When two Egotists meet,it's an I for an I

Dreaming in colour is just a Pigment of your imagination

The middle aged woman noticed her first gray hairs.She thought she'd Dye

With her marriage,she got a new name and a dress

Without Geometry,life is pointless

A man needs a mistress just to break the Monogamy

A bicycle can't stand on it's own because it's two tired

She had a boyfriend with a wooden leg.Things weren't working out,so she broke it off

You aren't born with a photographic memory,it has to be developed

I'll only give out my secret bread recipe on a Knead-to-Know basis

A man fell into an upholstery machine.He's fully recovered

Terrorists bombed a French floor-covering store, resulting in Linoleum Blownapart

Once you've seen one shopping center,you've seen a Mall

A midget fortune teller escaped from prison. Authorities are looking for a small medium at large

4 men escaped from prison in a cement truck .Be on the lookout for these hardened criminals

Winning a lot of money is Tainted. It Taint yours,and it Taint mine.

Your stuck with debt if you cant Budge It.

In a Democracy,your vote counts.In Feudalism,only the Count votes

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